behind a facade?

I woke up, albeit a little wet today.

I was dreaming, and it felt so real, i believe it was shi min's birthday. I was with her, lane and em in an apartment which i was there for the first time.

Conversations were going on per normal, and i asked shi min if i could have my books back since she probably won't read them anyway.
She seemed kinda upset from hearing that, and said sure with a tone that wasnt really nice.

She got up and took emili with her into a room. After about 5 mins i took off to look for her, and she was crying.
Crying, it broke my heart, i went to her, asked her what's wrong, she told me her paycheck hasnt got through yet and she has no money to return me, which i found weird because she didnt owe me any. Or does my unconciousness remembers it?
The point is, i felt so....heartbroken to see her cry, i hugged her and cried too and said i loved her, which is probably why i woke up kinda wet, was literally crying.

But anyways, good timing i woke up, i need to prepare to go to the gym right about now,
was at the Caton's yesterday night too =X Helped them with the desktop OMG i forgot to install bitdefender for them!! OMG NOOOOOO.
Nvm i could go back again. Besides its a nice place they have, really big place ^^
And i met jack, but he was supposed to sleep, haha he got caught by mom playing his playstation when he was supposed to sleep, great lad he is.

Haiz....i guess to say that i want to love her is a lie, but to say that i dont love her, is a bigger lie.
I'll just get over it, i'm sure i will, i probably just need time.
BahX i better go now, or i would be late for my circuit training. =X